


5 Times Steve Saw Bucky and the 1 Time He’s Real

by itsnotrose



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5 Times, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams, Ducks, Hallucinations, Hope, Self Defenestration, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 08:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15335553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsnotrose/pseuds/itsnotrose
Summary: What the title says.or where Steve is on the edge of finding Bucky.





	5 Times Steve Saw Bucky and the 1 Time He’s Real

**Author's Note:**

> I can work on 1 paragraph a month but finish it all in a night.

1  
He is dreaming again. It’s not something that haunts him in the night. He doesn't often see Bucky falling, or soldiers being vaporized or Peggy's tear soaked words on the plane. 

Tonight he's dancing, dancing around in the hall that was always to far from his ma's place. He never danced when he was younger, well, sometimes with Bucky all alone in their apartment but they never talked about it. 

He was dancing with Peggy. It was sorta what he imagined their date would have been like and then there's Bucky right along side him. In the corner of his eye was the whole gang, Dum Dum and Morita and Natasha and... well it was just everybody! The whole building was shaking with music and the tapping of shoes. It was pure bliss, until he opened his eyes. 

He would wake up in the dark and little tears would creep out, then he would get up and get ready for a run with Sam and forget whatever he might have dreamed. 

This night was different. This night he woke with a weight on his chest. It wasn't a metaphorical weight but a literal one. His first thought was to reach for his shield, but when he tried to move he found his arms were trapped between legs. He looked up through the darkest and it was a long haired, haggard breathing man. He stopped moving. 

"Bucky," he whispered suddenly out of breath.  
Bucky raises a fist over Steve's chest. It opens and bits of metal and wire fall onto him. 

"Bugs," Bucky says, "We can talk now.” A silence stretches. “Who. Are. You." he finally says. Who am I? 

There is this insistent banging on his door. What? Light streamed in through his open window which he swore was shut when he went to sleep. Wait Bucky, where was he? 

“Steve! Steve! You awake buddy!” a muffled voice tries to yell through his door. He got up from his bed looking around in his bathroom, his kitchen, the living room. No Bucky. He opens the door. 

“Sam, what are you doing here?” 

“Uhm, I’m here for our run? How could you forget? I’m hurt,” he says with a smile. 

“Oh yeah sorry, I think I’m gonna sit this one out.”

“Dude, you could have at least called, but okay man. You okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He looks around his apartment. “I’m fine.” Sam follows his gaze. “I’m just a little tired. I’ll-I’ll see you later.” There’s no one in his apartment. 

 

2  
The next day he goes on the run with Sam after several emphatic exclamations that he was “okay”. They run around the park. Well, he runs and Sam tries to keep up. He sometimes fantasizes what would happen if he picked him up and ran around with him on his shoulders, though he would never voice it.

They’ve gotten in about three laps when he sees something shiny in the trees. His head snaps straight towards it as does his body. 

He vaguely hears Sam shout, “Wait!” before he’s vaulting over a boulder and sprinting like a train towards the light. The shiny hand moves. He sees dark hair smothered by a blue cap dash away. 

Bucky runs across the street over the cars while the light is red. It turns green. He can make it. At the first step of his foot into the fast paced road he is yanked by his collar onto the grass. 

“Dude! Are you crazy? Steve, you were gonna run into the road!” Sam shouts. Some people look up. They look down again. 

“Sorry, sorry, Sam. I just thought I saw...”

“Saw what? I don’t care if you’re a super soldier or whatever, you can’t just-just walk into the street like that. It’s suicide.”

“I’m okay, Sam. I didn’t get hurt.”

“You said that this morning dude. You need help, please.”

“I’m trying.”

3  
He does actually listen, or at least tries to. He goes to Stark, well, one of Stark’s long contracted therapist. 

The air is cool as he walks into the tower. The secretary greets him good morning and waves him to the elevator. Jarvis brings him to where he needs to be. 

Behind the door to her office is a dark haired girl that looks like she knows exactly what you’re thinking and with the kinds of people he has met it’s not all that unlikely. 

He settles down in the plush chair. 

“So Mr. Rogers, Steve, what brings you here today?”

“My friend, Sam thinks I need help and... I don’t think he’s wrong.”

It was a good beginning session he thinks. When he leaves the building, the janitor stops what he’s doing and stands straighter. He peers at him from under the rim of his cap and he has Bucky’s eyes. 

 

4  
He is on a mission. The night is young and the crickets have left. It’s dead silent. 

There was a Hydra base just North of him and he was to retrieve the information they had there and get the hell out of there. 

The others were all busy with something else. A mission there, a mission here, some people who needed help, point in a direction, far that way. 

He treads through tall grass and low trees for what seems like hours. There is no moon to guide him. He stops when he sees the light outline of a building. There are guards patrolling the perimeter. They are bulky with armor and their large guns weigh down their arms. One moves their hand off the weapon and to their ear. 

“Team 5, checking in,” they say. He doesn’t make a sound when he drops to the ground. Steve shoots the others quickly and quietly. When they are all dead he snags the earpiece from his ear and places it in his own. He hears team 8, 9 and onward report in without concern. 

Every guard he meets is put down with little resistance and there are enough spare closets to hide them in. He reaches the computer room just as planned and downloads it all to a thumb drive he retrieves from only he knows where on his skin tight suit. 

Ten seconds later and he’s looking for their armory that supposedly contains some Semtex. 

When he walks out of the building, the force of the explosion doesn’t knock him over but a piece of it or perhaps a bullet flies past his face. He can’t help it he turns around and illuminated by the fire there’s Bucky. 

His legs dash towards the building, towards Bucky, but the second set of explosions do knock him to the ground. His face is met by grass and dirt. Black spots appear in his eyes and by the time he looks up he’s gone. 

His arms pound the ground, hard hits that flatten the grass permanently. His eyes burn from looking at the fire. 

 

5  
He is required to go to medical after every mission. There are no excuses or “I’m fine’s” that can get him away from there as he had one too many knife or gunshot wounds, or once a few tranq needles sticking from his thighs, that caused him to go back anyways. 

He arrives in a quinjet on top of the tower and rides the elevator slumped on himself. 

So here he is sitting on a bed with his stealth suit half peeled off him when a nurse slides his curtain over to look him over. He should have known when he didn’t recognize her and when she jammed a needle in his neck. It was really thick by the way.

Before he could blackout though, he jammed a fist in their surgical masked face and he figured since the place had been compromised he would have to escaped quick. 

A window revealed the bustling New York streets, and, yes, he did have to shoot it a few times before he could jump out. The janitor with the blue eyes was conveniently taking out the trash at the same time. He thinks he lands in it before it goes all dark. 

 

+1  
This night he dreams about ducks, like a dozen of them. They quack after him like he has food or something. He almost loses a finger. 

The sky at the duck pond is big and black and he can almost see a star, almost. He wanders around looking at the grass until he sees a bench and suddenly he is so tired. When he reaches it, he collapses in it and it groans at him. There is another occupant and no its not a duck but it rhymes with it. 

“Hey, pal,” the figure says. 

“Hey, Buck,” Steve replies. 

“You look high as fuck.”

“Language, buddy,” He can’t help but say. 

When he wakes up, he has to let his pillow and eyes dry. Jarvis informs him that Tony had to fly him home from a duck pond.

**Author's Note:**

> I just really like duck ponds.


End file.
